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It may take a bit more than simply not causing harm, injury, or insult to another before you could call the action selfless.

When we drive on the correct side of the street, we are not causing harm, injury, or insult to another. Are we then being selfless? Not hardly! That may be nothing more than self-preservation.

Our second premise is:
"If being selfish in when a person puts their own interest above the interests of another to the point that harm, injury, or insult occurs, then being selfless would be putting the interests of another ahead of our own interests no matter what the consequence to our own self becomes."

A firefighter rescuing a baby from a burning building is a selfless act. It does not matter what language you speak to recognize that is true.

In order to be good at knowing others,
the first thing of importance
is to know the difference
between selfish and selfless.

• A selfish person will use their counterfeit character qualities to pursue their selfish needs.
  
• A selfless person will use their genuine character qualities to pursue the interests of other people.

Solving Conflicts is extremely useful to help you evaluate the character of others. As a basis for doing that, remember that selfish people will misuse their character qualities by using counterfeits instead of genuine. The more frequently a person misuses their character qualities, the greater will be their level of selfishness.

Also, remember that each one of us is prone to the accidental misuse of our character qualities -- especially when we are tired, hungry, angry, or short on temper, etc.. Each one of us is prone to allow our selfishness to rise up. The result is that we end up using a counterfeit quality rather than a genuine.

The purpose of this chapter is to help you develop better tools to assess other people. Knowledge is the key to be able to assess the character of other people fairly and accurately... and not for the purpose of being judgmental or backbiting them through gossip!

In assessing the character of other people, it will allow you to have insight into their abilities, their sincerity, their integrity, and their trustworthiness.

In order to assess fairly the character of another person, you have to have some direct information about that person, the choices he or she has made in the past, the way they act, and the way that they speak. The more you know about them through first-hand experience, the easier it will be to assess them.

A word of caution:
If a person's words or actions do not involve you,
if you are neither part of the problem
...nor part of the solution,

...you may have to accept that their life
is none of your business!

We want to be clear about this. We are not advocating that you go out to pry into other people's business so you can assess their character.

Moreover, we are certainly not advocating that in assessing the character of another person that you can now go out to gossip about that person.

Assessing another person's character is not so you will be armed for slandering him or her, gossiping about him or her, backbiting him or her, backstabbing him or her, or whatever else you may wish to call it.

However, there are many legitimate situations when you may have a need to assess a person's character. They are all centered upon actual relationships that we have with other people, and the choices that we make as we interact with them.